Exclusive: Freedom, What It Means

'Why is my child no longer listening to me?'' ''He used to obey my laws without any complaint, why has he changed?'' ''She used to support any decision I make, why is she no longer the same?'' These are some of the many, but similar, questions parents often ask themselves.


    Because of the lack of answers to these questions, there is always a recurrence of disputes between many parents and their children.
It might be however rash to blame many parents who cannot help but lament the abrupt change in the behaviour of their children. Meanwhile, it would be unjust to hastily blame the children who seem to change their behavior as they increase in age. Actually, the fault is not theirs- as it is of no one. But, if you call it 'the search for freedom', you are close to the truth.

The developmental stages of everyone's life is normally responsible for the advancement in everyone's mentality. If all parents momentarily think about how the change occurs, maybe it will be easy for them to find answers to the questions asked at the beginning of this article. Everyone- both young and old- can attest to the way a very young child obeys his parents without any deliberate complaint. Command a small kid to sit down on a seat and he will have no other option than to obey. Even if the kid has any objection, he will still be compelled to the order. Why? He has no choice! Tell him not to go outside the house, with a promise of flogging him. Of course, the sight of the cane will frighten him to obey. But, as the kid grows up, he begins to feel a sense of responsibility. He begins to desire for a chance to make decisions himself. This often occurs during the period of being a teenager or an adolescent. Well, as ''a teen'' already suggests, the age range is not far from ''eighteen'' years. Yes, that is the period I am talking about. A period of self-reliance. A period of independence. This is the period when many parents no longer understand their children anymore. This is the period when many prodigal sons and daughters leave their homes seeking for privacy (as they call it) elsewhere. A period when many fathers ask themselves: ''Is this the same son I carried on my shoulders. A period when many mothers ask themselves: ''Is she not the daughter I breast-fed?'' Indeed, a critical period! Nevertheless, it is a period that can be easily harnessed to benefit both the parents and the children. Dear parents, instead of reducing the level of your children's freedom in this period, give them more space. Give them more sense of responsibility. Let them feel a little bit independent. Have you ever wondered why many children quickly go astray when they leave their parents? It is because they have not been taught how to handle the initial (and delicate) of being independent. One day, very soon, your children will leave your home. They cannot live with you forever. There is a period when they will have to say: ''Thanks for everything. It is time to leave.'' If indeed you want your children to behave the way you want when that time comes, the adolescent years of your children are the best times to teach them. Let them enjoy freedom under your tutelage. Guide them as they make the mistakes. It is better you see your children make some mistakes than to hear from outsiders that they've made the mistakes. Rather than always saying: ''I want you to do this, I want you to do that'', it is better to say: ''What do you think you should do?'' Giving them the chance to make their decisions assures them that you have confidence in them. It gives them a sense of being children, and not slaves. So, give yourself the opportunity to watch them grow from teens/adolescents into adults. The more you reduce their freedom, the less you see their mistakes!